A few days

I am so happy to report that we have seen such a difference in Keyan over the past couple of days.  She has all sorts of weird things going on physically, but every day we see more and more of her personality, and I can not be more thrilled.  She is talking, counting dominoes, reading her books, and making more eye contact with us all.  Yesterday she was even crabby in the afternoon and was asking about going home….it means so much that she cares!!!  I can honestly say there is a side of me that is so relieved to have her talking and laughing with me again that the rest of the stuff just takes a back burner.

However, I can’t let the physical stuff stay in the back of my mind for long because her muscles and brain need so much therapy.  She continues to struggle with the strange movements of her body and she has very little strength or coordination and that is still heartbreaking.  She is determined to stand up by herself but only ends up toppling over into our arms.  I believe that she will be running around on the playground again, I really do, but once I again, I stress how absolutely hard it is to watch.  She is struggling with pain and can be overly emotional.  She spent a large portion of the night crying….she realizes more and more what is going on.  She understands that her body “feels funny.”  She looks at me with the look of desperation that only a chronically ill child can give and asks about going home.  She knows her body is tired and that at this point, even her strength cannot will her body into compliance.  I wish beyond anything that she did not have to go thru this…I wish none of us did.  I would do anything to take away the pain, all of it, mental and physical, but as we all know, that can not be done.

So, we wait….I hope that the next few days continue to bring healing to her body.  I hope that she gains enough strength to renew my hope in an absolute and complete healing.  I pray that she is comforted by my hugs and that she really hears my voice telling her how brave she is.  I beg that she is able to fight off the demons of discouragement and fear and that every day brings more and more sparkle to her eyes.