Abagayle’s coming home day!

February 22nd finally came around and that meant that it was time to celebrate Abagayle coming home from the hospital. Just as in years past, Abby thought that her day was NEVER going to get here and tried every morning to persuade me that certainly, it must be her day. I spent many days explaining to her that it was not my fault that she would not eat when she was a baby…you see, in order to leave the NICU, she had to take all of her feedings out of a bottle and not have to be tube fed for a solid 48 hours. She would get so close, and than at night give up and the nurses would tube feed her which meant that her 48 hours all over again. We thought that we would never get her home. Finally, one Monday morning, I woke up and told Paul enough was enough, I was going up to the hospital to figure out what we could do about getting her home. I will never forget walking into nursery 7 that day with the determination of a mother bear. The doctor happened to be rounding when I got there, and commented on the fact that I was there so early. I looked at him right in the eye, and said,”I am here to find out what we have to do to get Abby home, and I am not leaving until I know what the plan is!” He was rather taken aback, because believe it or not, I had been rather calm, forgiving, and tolerant, up until that point in our NICU journey. (Boy have things sure changed!) I told him that I was tired of the night nurses not trying, and just sticking that tube down her nose. His statement will never leave me…”I guess you would have to learn how to tube feed her, you know, put the tube up her nose and down to her stomach.” That was it??? I looked at the nurse, asked her if she could teach me how to place a NG tube, and asked the doctor when she could go home. Forty-eight hours later, Abagayle joined her other two sisters at home, and just as an aside, we NEVER had to place that tube once we got her home! In hindsight I see that day as a turning point for me. It was than that I learned how to fight this battle, and advocate for my kids. Gods timing was perfect because that was only the beginning!

Anyhow, Abagayle got to pick out what the girls wore that day and she quickly picked out the shirts that they made at camp. It happened to also be her show-and-tell day at school so she was on top of the world. For dinner Abby chose to have pizza and hot fudge sundaes for dessert. She really wanted her ice cream in “glass bowls with sparkling diamonds” but I just couldn’t come up with any. In the end, she didn’t care as she ate her banana split. She thoroughly enjoyed every moment of her special day and is already busy planning her next one.

Abagayle is a princess at heart and lives her life tolerating her lowly parents who do not always understand her princess needs. He eyes are always twinkling with both laughter and mischievness and she wears her emotions on her sleeve. She is very into fashion and loves to dress up. She has always been high maintenance but every family has to have a diva, Abagayle is ours and we love that she fills this role. She shines in the spotlight and will most certainly become an actress. She keeps us guessing with her moods and is currently “working on giving more hugs and kisses.” (those really are her words) Abagayle, our family would be a lot more boring without you in it. I am so proud of how you are learning to care for others and use your manners. I know your feisty spirit will only serve you well in life and will command that other pay attention to you. I love to hear you singing at the top of your lungs and can’t wait to help you nurture that love of music. You have some so far from those days in the hospital and we are so proud of you. We love you Abagayle!

the 19th of February...a day to remember

The 19th of February is a date that I am sure I will never let slip from my memory. February 19, 2005 was first significant because it was my original due date with the girls. For months I worked so hard to keep my babies safe inside me. I was on bed rest almost from the beginning, I ate a full meal every two hours with a snack in between, I slept more than I did anything else, and we all lived in constant fear of the babies coming too early. All of that, in the hopes that we would make it somewhere near February 19...the magic day. Obviously, that didn't happen, the girls came 13 weeks early but we were so thankful that they stayed inside of me for as long as they did.

That is only one reason to remember that day, the other is even more symbolic to how our lives our and that is on February 19, 2005, five years ago today, Keyan received her trach. At the time, we were so naive....all we cared about was getting the tube out of her nose and getting her off of the ventilator so that we could hold her easier and she could continue to develop. I will never forget the doctor coming into a meeting that we were having and telling us that she would need a trach. We were not surprised, it sort of seemed like the path that she was on. After the meeting, Paul and I found a secluded family lounge and sat at either end of the couch just staring at each other. I remember posing so many questions to him, both of us crying just a little bit, and than standing up with the resolve that has now become so common and going right back in to her nursery to start learning what we could. We are often asked if the hope is that she will get the trach out someday and my response it always the same. "Well, we were told that she would not need it longer than a year, and here we are five years later! We certainly hope so, but we have certainly learned that only time will tell." It is amazing how you can hate that little piece of plastic so much and yet in the same breath be so thankful for it. Even today, as she recovers from a very serious pneumonia, I have to admit that this round of illness would have been a lot worse had she not had a trach. Five years ago, we started a journey that very few people are on. We have learned things that I really would rather not know, and we have been blessed with the opportunity to care for a fantastic little girl...the pictures say it all!

About 3 days after getting her trach...she was still on a ventilator

A year later, sitting up, clapping, and on oxygen 24/7

The following year, just learning how to walk..no continuous feeds, and oxygen only at night.

A year later, she is blending in with the other girls a little more and insists on having her turn with Daddy!....notice NO tubes! She was on bolous feeds of blended food..we were so hopeful!

Four years old..still using the feeding tube but able to eat a little bit of ice cream every now and again! She had actually just come home from the hospital sporting a PICC line in her arm for some IV antibiotics but that did not stop her!
Tonight, five years later...wow, what a five years it has been! I have tried to write this all day and I can't without crying, so I guess the beauty of the Internet is that I can just sit here and let the tears fall and no one has to know. She is still on oxygen at night and right now even needing it during the day thanks to being sick! She is on IV nutrition 24/7 with a central line near her heart and any food that she does get has to go into her intestines. She has fought so hard over the the last year and we just don't have a lot of answers. It is easy to think that that all we have done is go backwards, but look at her...she is still smiling, talking up a storm, cracking her on jokes, and loving life. There are moments where we feel so discouraged, but than she inspires us on! Won't it be fun to see what the next year brings~

A week long Valentine project!

So just in case any of you were still wondering if I am certifiably crazy, this post will confirm that indeed, I am. Last year, when it came time to make Valentines, I found this great craft project...melted crayon hearts, but I did not have time to make them so I bookmarked the web site and have been planning for an entire year that we would make and pass out these melted crayon hearts! I have saved all of our broken crayon over the past 12 months, and we had many since Keyan LOVES to break crayons. I also bought many boxes of crayons during the back-to-school specials so I thought that I was totally prepared. However, and please refrain from laughing, I honestly never calculated how many we were going to have to make until the day before we were scheduled to make them. When I went to buy the molds, it dawned on me that I was going to need to make 105 crayon hearts!!!! Still, in denial of the facts that were hitting me right on the head, I had everything set to start our project Saturday morning...and you know that Paul was SUPER excited about this whole thing!

Saturday came, we left the kids in their pajamas, and we all started peeling a breaking crayons. It was insane! You never realize how much glue they put on those wrappers until you need them off! And of course, none of the kids could break them into little piece....never mind they do it every time they color! Actually, the kids did a pretty good job and took turns taking breaks so I always had someone helping me.

It would not have been nearly that bad except I only had 24 molds and each batch had to cook for 20 minutes, and than harden and freeze for another 20-30 minutes...I will leave the math up to you...but needless to say, it was a good thing we had the entire day free! By the time the kids went to bed, we had made 93 multi-colored hearts and 12 camouflage hearts for the boys in Jamahl's class!

We continued the next day by stamping hearts onto little bags to put the crayons in and then they all had to sign all twenty something of them...not an easy task for the girls since they haven't quite mastered that skill! It took a lot of concentration, but we finally got all 105 signed and than the rest of the week I took my spare minutes and put them in the bags and taped them shut. As many of you know, Keyan ended up back in the hospital on the Thursday before Valentines day so it is a darn good thing we didn't wait until the last minute! The kids were all very excited at the way they turned out and couldn't wait to give them to their friends....but get this, on Monday, I go to clean out backpacks and McKenzy's entire bag of crayons is still in her backpack! When I asked her what had happened, she said she was just too busy, and didn't want to take the time to pass them out!!!! Can you believe it? They made a beautiful addition to the art area in their classroom! Oh well, you can't blame her for being excited about a party! All in all, though time consuming, it was a fun family project that gave us something to do while being stuck inside during this cold weather. I wonder what I can come up with for next year?

Sidney’s day

Thursday came and Sidney was so excited for her coming home day. Five years ago, she spent 80 days in the NICU and had quite the journey. She was the third baby born and weighed in at 2 pounds 3 ounces. She really struggled with numerous infections that kept interfering with her ability to eat and breath. Her face and neck would swell up and she looked just horrible. It went on for so long, I remember wondering if that is just how she was going to look. Eighty days into it, I really didn't care how she looked or if she always looked like a little football player, I just wanted her to be home so that we could take care of her. I remember being so thrilled when the infections finally cleared up and the doctors decided we could bring her home. She came home 4 days after McKenzy and they were so happy to be with each other and to be able to be near each other. They loved to be snuggled close together and would always reach out to one another. It was really neat to see the instant bond of being womb mates!

The day that she was born...Paul was the first one to help weigh her.On her coming home day...her clothes were so big for her and they were preemie size!

She wasn't feeling all that well this Thursday, but that did not stop her from smiling ear to ear when she told anyone that it was her day. She had to go to the doctor in the morning and despite not really liking having to visit the doctor, she did like the one-on-one time with mommy. They are all so fun to have by themselves sometimes....even if it is to the doctor!

Sidney choose to have spaghetti for her dinner and wanted mint chocolate chip ice cream, for dessert. She choose the same exact thing last year, which doesn't surprise me in the least because she is such a creature of habit. Right after dinner, the girls all went with is the kindergarten round-up so we saved our ice cream until after the big event. They were all so excited to be visiting kindergarten and they had a blast. We came home and found Grammie and Poppie had gotten home so we all had fun around the table with our mint ice cream remembering what Sidney was like when she first came home. She was a fairly quiet infant...and continues to be that way, she is a girl of few words but what words she does speak are usually of great importance.

Sidney, you are a beautiful little girl who, while not necessarily a laughter, you love to smile, and your smile is super contagious. You take life in one moment at a time and are just now starting to come out of your shell. You do not give your trust easily but those that earn it are quite honored to be let into your inner sanctum, for it is precious. Your look on life is sometimes worrisome but that is only because you are worried for other people. You are so kind hearted and are always willing to bend if it makes someone else happy. Your observations on life are very profound and you may just turn out to be a great philosopher! I love that you give your hugs so freely to those people that you love and your special relationship with Jamahl just continues to transpire. You are not a quitter, and will tackle most anything you put your mind to. We are so proud of the little girl you are becoming...a soft spoken, kind, slow to anger, and quick to smile kind of person. The world could use a lot more people like you, we could all learn a thing or two from your world view! We love you!

McKenzy's coming home day--5 years ago

I can't believe the time has come to celebrate McKenzy's coming home day again! Five years ago, she came home from the hospital after spending 70 days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. For her, the time was not the typical roller coaster ride. She basically just needed to grow. She spent her time on the ventilator, than moved to c-pap, than room air with not many problems. She took the bottle the first time we offered it and LOVED having a bath. She was the biggest baby at birth, so she was the first one that we got to hold. Her only little glitch was that she couldn't pass her hearing test and so eventually she went on to get tubes in her ears. She didn't give us much trouble during her 70 day stay and she continued to be fairly easy once she was home. (For the most part!)

The first time that we got to hold McKenzy...doing kangaroo care...she was nine days old!

The first time that we got to give her a bath..she was so tiny!Jamahl was the first to greet McKenzy when we first brought her home.Today, five years later McKenzy choose to have hot dogs and Mac-n-Cheese for dinner, which was better than her first choice , hot dogs and mashed potatoes. Of course, we had to have cupcakes for dessert. She told everyone that this was her special day and enjoyed being the center of attention. We reminisced about her journey in the hospital and she was quite enthralled to learn some of the stories about that time in her life. She was however very bothered by all the things that we were telling her because she couldn't remember any of it!
McKenzy holds a special place in our family as the first born quadruplet. She is always telling everyone that she is the oldest and likes to use that to her advantage already. She is a little girl who embraces every aspect of life and seeks out the fun in it. If it isn't fun, McKenzy has no use for it! She still has a laugh that comes from her toes and her face and eyes are as animated as a cartoon character. She loves to hang out with the naughty boys at school and is proud is announce when she gets in trouble with them. She can be so stubborn which for now can be problematic but I know that stubbornness well, and it will suit her just fine in life. She is smarter than she will ever let on and loves to gives hugs and snuggle on the couch.

McKenzy, you keep us on our toes and always remind us that life has a less serious side. Thank you for your willfulness and persistence. The characteristics that you display will make you a very strong young woman someday. I enjoy that your life is an open book and we always know how you are feeling. Please don't stop trusting people and never stop laughing! The twinkle in your eye is contagious and we thank you for that! We love you!

Eating her hot dog with a goofy smile!Last but not least, a tasty cupcake for a sweet girl!