Keyan's Haven

Over the past few years, many of you have seen pictures of, or at least heard stories about Keyan in our friends pool.  Doug and Daylene have a backyard that is magazine worthy and they are great about letting us enjoy their backyard oasis.  Whether it be swimming in the pool, cooking in the outdoor kitchen, a friendly round of corn hole, or sitting around a fire listening to music, our family has spent lots of time there.  

Keyan LOVED the pool.  It has a beach entry that she enjoyed sitting in and tinkering around with odds and end toys.  She always had the biggest grin when she was squirting her siblings with a squirt gun from her safe zone.  The pool area also has a waterfall, fountain,  and stream feature that is not only gorgeous but was also great for Keyan to play in.  Many a times she stayed up at the top of the stream where the fountain was.  Doug could set it to only bubble a little bit and she would play with the water coming out of the rock.  She liked to put her feet over it, run her hands through the colored lights, and watch her toys go floating thru the currents into the pool.  Even though our family has a pool in the backyard, we spent a lot of time at "Miller Park" because it was SO accessible to Keyan.  She could splash in the stream, sit in a chair under an umbrella in the zero entry part and read a book, or relax up by the fountain.  She also knew that her iPad was fully functional for when she got cold and decided to be out of the pool and that there was always lots of warm towels and blankets to snuggle up in after her time in the water was up.  Their house and backyard became such a place of enjoyment for Keyan and all of our family.  It is safe place where we could all be ourselves, soak each other in, spend time with friends, and it was easy for Keyan to be there too.

Shortly after Keyan died, Doug and Daylene started talking about putting a rock in the pool area to remember Keyan by.  They made it clear that we could have as little or as much involvement as we wanted and throughout the process checked in with us about how we were feeling.  We would go over and get updates on the rock....hearing how Doug looked through all sorts of rocks to find the perfect one way in the back; going thru design options including wording, fonts, and images; learning how the company went about engraving the rock; and stopping by to see their daughter working on the glass.  Our first hands on part came when we had a rainbow painting party.  The six of us went over and each of us painted a color of her rainbow.  When it was your turn to paint, you got to choose the genre of music and what party wouldn't be complete without rainbow cake, candies, and a rainbow balloon?  It was a beautiful weekend day spent laughing, dancing, crying, and being creative.  Healing in so many ways.  Every step of the way brought so many emotions but never once did we feel pressured to not just feel them all no matter what that looked like.  There were lots of tears all around but just as many laughs and hugs.  

Last night, we had the unveiling of the rock ceremony.  It was our family, my parents, Paul's parents, Doug and Daylene, and Angela and Chris.  We kept it to an intimate group so that I could just take the whole thing in without worries.  We started the evening by taking some pictures of the rock and just admiring the artistic beauty.  It turned out absolutely perfect.  It is colorful, whimsical, reminiscent of Keyan, and inviting.  We all commented on how much Keyan would have loved the rock.  It has a large rainbow, some iridescent glass clouds and sun, a mermaid, and the phrase, "True colors are beautiful like a rainbow."  Keyan never had an pretenses about her.  She was who she was and she never apologized.  She embraced her challenges and radiated joy.  The rock symbolizes all of that.  Angela did the fused glass work and is truly talented in her art.  

Then some of the kids decided to enjoy the heated pool.   Next, we  shared in a yummy meal together.  After a few games of corn hole, and some time spent just enjoying the fire and each other, before we knew it, the sun was setting and the show began.  As the sun set, the lights all around the pool came on which includes a spot light on Keyan's rock.  The rock is beautiful in the daylight and just as spectacular in the dark.  

Upon sunset, the music changed to an all Disney playlist and tiki torches were lit all around the pool and down the stream.  It was magical.  Next up, Chris shared some very special words about out girl and demonstrated her strength, beauty, and love  by a magic trick with the fire.  The fire was suddenly filled with all sorts of color...blue, green, pink, purple, teal, etc.  It was amazing!

 While out attention was focused on the beauty of the fire, all of a sudden, the fountain at the top of the stream started bubbling and the it was lit up red.  I don't know all the ins and outs of how Doug timed it but it was perfect.  The day after Keyan died, we gathered at Doug and Daylene's with some of our family and friends to "celebrate" my birthday.  Not much celebrating was happening but I needed to get out of the house and the kids needed to get rid of some energy.  I was not prepared that night to be so struck by Keyan's absence.  I just kept thinking that she should have been in the pool enjoying the night.  I sat o a rock for a lot of the night just staring up at the top of the stream where she would have been.  Doug came over and quietly said that the fountain would not be turned on until we were ready for it.  He knew it was her place, her haven, and he wanted to honor that.  Before last night, those bubblers bad been off for nearly 13 weeks besides a few test runs for the ceremony.  It was time to bring that added life back to the pool.  It was so moving looking up there and seeing the red lights in the fountain that she loved to play in.  I could feel her and almost see her up there.  It was such a wonderful memorial to her.

She would have loved everything about the rock and the night that we all gathered to light it up and turn her fountain back on. The whole night was a precious memorial and tribute to her joy.  It was also a symbol of how much she was loved and how she touched so many in her short time here with us.  Despite our tears, or maybe through them, we all shared in the legacy that one little girl can have on this world.  We are so blessed that God put her in our lives and that we got to love on her.  All that love makes our pain even greater but I wouldn't trade that love for anything.