Our Angel

***Warning*** This post contains what some might refer to as “too much information.”  You have been warned!

 

I think it is safe to say that being the parents of five kids is exhausting enough.  Add to that, a child with complex medical needs, and needless to say, there is not much time to do anything besides meeting the needs of our kids.  Compound that by a discouraging diagnosis and prognosis and our life as a couple is absolutely non existent.

I firmly believe, in theory, that date nights, time away from the kids, good communication, and yes, even intimacy and sex are all necessary parts of a successful marriage.  However, that theory was before kids and Keyan.  Date nights are usually while sitting in the ER with Keyan or possibly a quick lunch out, talking is overrated when you are physically and emotionally worn out, and intimacy and sex are about the last thing to get done on the “to-do” list.  I know that it may sound pathetic, but it is our reality, I will not sugar coat it.  It is hard on a marriage, but also in pure honesty, there just isn’t a lot of time to worry about it.  We parent as a team, we make decisions as a team, and we do our best to connect with quick smiles shared over the kids heads.  We stand by each other thru thick and thin and that, in my mind, is more romantic than a few moments in bed.  HOWEVER….Paul may not agree!!!

So, that is the background information that you need to understand my story for tonight.

The boys of the house went to see a movie so we girls got into our jammies early and played games.  We finished the night with a movie.  Choosing a movie for all of them is somewhat difficult because if left totally up to her, Keyan would still choose a preschool aged movie. That is fine when she is watching by herself, but the other girls only have so much tolerance.  So, I picked one that was supposed to be about a puppy and we snuggled in to watch.  As the movie progressed, I knew that it was a little over Keyan’s head but she wasn’t complaining so I just went with it.  At one point in the movie, which by the way, never had a puppy in it; the mom and the dad were snuggling in their bed in the morning.  Keyan looked right at me and said, “Mommy, you and Daddy should do that!  You should snuggle in your bed in the morning time.  Well, not on a morning where there is school but on the days when we don’t go to school.  What day is it today Mommy?”  I told her that it was Saturday and she continued with, “Oh, than Sunday….Sunday there is no school right McKenzy?  Mommy, you should do that with Daddy tomorrow!  You can snuggle in your bed on Sunday morning!” 

I sort of chuckled, but than it struck me how right this beautiful little girl of our was.  I sat back and just stared at her as tears welled up in my eyes.  She had no idea that Paul and I are so overwhelmed and depressed that finding making time for each other has gone off the radar.  But I believe it was a message from our angel.  “Mommy, take care of yourself…take care of Daddy.  You need each other, cling to one another, and find solace in your connection.”  It  was a moment that I can’t describe accurately enough but it spoke to my heart.  Reality says I have no idea when Paul and I will steal a few moments to share anything other than tears, but it will come back on my priority list…thanks to my angel!