Community

Keyan and I went to a gathering tonight for the blind and visually impaired kids in our Intermediate School District.  We went to learn about apps for the iPad that might be helpful.  The information was very helpful but the sense of community was the best part.  Keyan thoroughly enjoys being with this group of kids.  They only get together 1-2 times a year and it is kids of all ages but Keyan was so excited to go. She knew that it was only for kids with low or no vision and was proud to be a part of that "club."

It was striking to me how comfortable Keyan is with this community.  The facilitators of the group are visually impaired specialist that work with these kids all of the time so they do a remarkable job interacting with the kids.  They make sure the kids get a run down of the facilities, using non visual cues that the kids all understand.  They always introduce themselves when they are talking to the kids one-on-one, and they make proper accommodations for them that the rest of us "seeing" people don't even think about.

When you look at Keyan, you do not immediately realize that she is visually impaired but she actually has quite a hard time navigating unfamiliar territory and has VERY poor vision.  She has worked with a vision specialist since she was three.  She is working on the beginning stages of braille, she uses several apps on her iPad that read aloud to her or enlarge print, and just this year, is learning how to use a white can that you see blind people using.  She works very hard to learn how to be independent in a seeing world.  I think that is why she enjoys meeting with these kids so much.  She is on an even playing field.  The activities they do are designed for kids like her, the games they play are possible to play even if you have no vision, and the places they go focus on taking the world in through other means than their eyes.  It is so cool to see.  In school, Keyan is learning how to navigate her world using a cane and she went tonight and meets people who use a cane all of the time.  How cool is that?  I think we all know that feeling of being with people who just accept you for who you are.  I have a few friends that when I am with them, I know it is completely safe to be my real, see through self.  I don't have to pretend that everything is alright, I don't have to hide my neurosis (not that I do a great job at that any time), I can laugh, I can cry, and I don't have to be ashamed of the things that make me different.  This is what I saw in Keyan tonight.  She was totally at ease, happy, talkative, and "at home" with these kids and special adults.

As I drove home, the full emotions of the night hit me and the tears fell.  They were happy tears, mixed with tears of sadness.  Tears for the fact that after seeing her with her community of visually impaired kids, I have to face the fact that she isn't 100% comfortable in her every day life.  I want her to feel safe, a sense of belonging, comfortable, and to not have to worry about trying to keep up with her peers. After tonight, I know that although she never voices it, she struggles to feel that all important sense of community in her day to day life.  I know that I can't offer much to change this.  I know that I need to learn how to make her more comfortable...I need to pay attention to her silent cues.  Mostly though, I was just so grateful for tonight.  Thankful for the people that specialize in kids like Keyan, thankful that they are willing to teach me how to help my girl.  Thankful that they understand the need for these kids to socialize with others who struggle to see.  Thankful that for a brief few hours, they were able to make Keyan feel "normal."  

The whole sense of community has been on my heart lately as we venture into some fundraising for Keyan and her quality of life.  Two weeks ago, we started a "go fund me" page and the outpouring of support has been incredible.  People are sharing our story via social media, people are donating, her friend at school is collecting returnable cans and donating all of that money, people are planning fundraising events, and friends have put together a flier that we keep seeing out in the community just to name a few special things going on.   It is amazing.  Our community, both local, and all over the world, has stepped up to make a difference in Keyan's days.  Raising a special needs kiddo is often very isolating and lonely but I have been reminded over these past two weeks, that we are anything but alone! In case you haven't seen her page, it can be viewed at www.gofundme.com/keyanhogan